


For Whom the Bell Tolls

by WithoutATracer



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mental Illness, Slow Burn, comfort and support, tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:34:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithoutATracer/pseuds/WithoutATracer
Summary: Life is hard when you're not sure where to turn. Sometimes, even when you escape into the light, the shadows continue to lurk. It's how you handle those shadows that determine control over the trials that are your own life.-Please note the 'first' chapter is a more detailed explanation on what will be involved in this story as well as some generalized information! I'm not the best with tags as I've never really needed to be in the past, so I like to be able to clarify myself in more words.





	1. General Information

Hello there!

 First off, I would like to give fair warning that this story may have some subjects that could bother certain people. The obvious violence and gore will be involved at some point, but that's not all that there will be. There will be depictions of past abuse (emotional), mental illnesses and the struggles and inner thoughts caused by them, and the like. There may be more, but if there is I will give fair warning at the top of that chapter. The only reason I'm not at this moment is due to the fact that my writing is very spontaneous. Unfortunately, I'm the type of writing who cannot write with a plan. I know certain events that I want to happen and how to go about them, but the progress between those events is spur of the moment. I prefer this method as I get to somewhat experience it through a reader's eyes when it's unplanned and simply falls into place. Regardless, if any topics bother you, please proceed with caution. I will only write about things that I have personally experienced to some extent, as I simply don't feel I have any right to write about issues that I haven't experienced. Not only would I feel disrespectful, but I don't want to run the risk of accidentally handling those situations incorrectly.

Second, please do keep in mind that my writing will be very sporadic in terms of updates. Unfortunately, like in the story, I have a few mental illnesses. I will not go in depth here, for sake of not wanting to come off as an attention seeker. Just do remember that due to them, my motivation and ability to function for writing can be very limited if and when it shows up. I will do my best, but please do not be upset if updates are few and far between at my worst times.

I think that's all I need to say for the time being. If there's anything else that needs to be said at any point in time, I'll write a short note of it before or after a chapter depending on if it's needed prior or not. Thank you for your patience, and I do hope you enjoy whatever comes of this journey as it unfolds!

PS: I'm sorry for my horrible tagging/summary skills. I'm not the best at things like that.

PPS: Since I didn't say in said summary, this story will be exploring a bit before Philip becomes the Wraith. I want to delve into the reader's growing friendship/relationship with him beforehand, and see what develops after the fact due to the situation.


	2. A New Beginning

It had been a rather hard couple of years for you. You knew, deep down, that it was not your fault. It was not your fault that you had been drawn and groomed into a bad situation, nor was it your fault that such a situation made your emotional state worse than had it been before. Before, it fluctuated. Others noticed it, but you didn’t. Or perhaps, you simply ignored it? You didn’t like to think about it. The more you did, the more you would beat yourself up for not seeing the signs earlier.

Still, even despite knowing such situations were not your fault, sometimes in the dead of night your mind would wander. _You should have broken it off sooner. You should have seen what was being done to you. If you hadn’t fallen so quickly, you wouldn’t be in this situation._

You sighed softly, rolling over to your other side as you stared at the wall. Outside, you could hear the faint sound of crickets - a truly unusual occurrence with the clamor of city life. Sure, you were on the outskirts, but that didn’t mean you didn’t hear the occasional drunken yells at all hours of the night from those who had taken just _one_ too many drinks. Or maybe, one was too generous of an estimate.

Most would be rather irritated from the noise, but you were both used to it and knew it didn’t matter much anyway. Even if it was dead silent, you knew you would have far too much trouble to get any decent amount of sleep. There was far too much on your mind, and there had been for a long time whether you admitted to it or not. You lazily scrolled through your phone as it rested beside your pillow, your eyes feeling heavy and dry. Still, it had become something of a nightly ritual. You scrolled through past messages, feeling your body occasionally tense when you dug too deep into the past, only to continue on. You weren’t a masochist by any means - something inside you just couldn’t stop, as if willing itself for some kind of closure.

Closure that you knew you would likely never get. Having gone too far into your thoughts, you scarcely noticed when the light of your screen dimmed and then faded into black. This time, you made no effort to turn it back on. You had dived too far into the rabbit hole for one night, you decided. Instead you opted to close your eyes and wait until sleep found you. Unfortunately, the night was long. It weighed on you further and further until, what felt like hours later, you drifted off into a restless sleep.

-

When you finally opened your eyes the first thing you felt was disoriented. The blinds had unfortunately been forgotten in the stress of the night, and now you were in the perfect position for the light of the sun to shrine through and right into your tired eyes. You winced, grabbing your phone before rolling back onto your other side and curling up as if that could hide you from the sun’s harsh rays. _Damn it… One of these days I’m going to wake up to someone staring at me in the middle of the night._ Through you framed it as a joke - albeit, a somewhat dark one - you knew deep down that it was true. It wouldn’t be the first, nor the last time that something like that happened to someone. Just a first for it to happen to _you,_ and a first you would much rather avoid if possible.

Deciding to brave the light of the room, you slowly cracked open your eyes and turned on your phone. The first thing you noticed was the time. _11:32… It’s almost noon._ Through part of you probably should feel disappointed at what others would call a waste of the day, you were far too used to it to care. Just another step in your monotonous routine that you’ve just come to accept. The second thing you noticed were multiple missed messages. As soon as you saw the message previews, you felt your heart leap into your throat.

_Unknown_

_Y/N?_

_Unknown_

_Talk to me._

_Unknown_

_I’m not going away. We need to talk. Now._

You _know_ you changed your number shortly after the breakup. The only reason you knew it had to be him was that he was the _only_ other person who had your number that you hadn’t kept in your phone once it was changed. To some, the messages may have seemed innocent. Direct, but innocent. You knew better through. No, he had never raised a hand to you before you broke up. That didn’t mean the so called joke threats didn’t make your skin crawl, and it didn’t make his emotional manipulation any less prevalent.

You didn’t so much as open the messages. The previews showed you all you needed to see, and you weren’t about to even let him see that they had been read. Still, you felt on edge, and the creeping feeling only rose in your chest the longer you thought about it. When you had ended it, you had hoped that finally, you’d have a breath of fresh air. You hoped that you could start anew - after all, he lived far away from you and had only visited a couple of times due to his _persuasion_ and nothing else. You thought that finally you would have some freedom again and maybe, just maybe, you could begin to heal.

It had only been a couple of months and yet, just the very thought of him finding you again made you feel very, very ill. The phone felt hot in your hand, as if you were clutching a burning coal. You knew it was only due to your grip of the device but that didn’t make you feel any comfort. Still you did not let go - you felt safe with it nearby or in your grasp. Nothing could harm you when you had it. Help was only a call away.

_You need to leave. Don’t let him follow through,_ your mind told you. You wanted to believe that he was all bark and no bite, and in a way you did. Your anxiety, however, was flaring. He knew where you lived. He had made threats in the past only to cover it up as a joke when you got upset. No normal person would joke like that, through, and your instinctual fear was on high alert. Maybe it _was_ all in your head, just pent up anxiety that had only been fed by him and others. What if it wasn’t through? You wanted to move. You had for a while even before all of this. When he came along though, he tried to control you after making you comfortable. Said living out in the country, in some nice, smaller town, wasn’t for you. Said you wouldn’t _survive_ so far away from everyone you knew, so much farther away from _him._

No. He was wrong. You let out a shaky breath as you forced yourself up out of bed. You were not his to control anymore. No one could. You figured no one would really miss you here in the city. Your family lived a bit further away, and most of your friends were too busy to so much as check up on you. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, and you didn’t blame them nor did you feel bitter. If anything, that fact made this choice far easier.

You were going to leave this city. The stress, the crowds, the noise… you wanted it all behind you. You’ve had plenty of money saved for a while - thankfully, the place you rented now had been relatively cheap. Not the cleanest or nicest to look at, but cheap and livable. You always hoped it would be temporary, and now you were thankful you hadn’t been so frivolous with your earnings. It wouldn’t even be too hard to find somewhere, right? You didn’t have pets with you, and you didn’t really have much you would have to move. You lived on your own and you really hadn’t _needed_ much in terms of possessions other than the necessities.

You finally allowed a small smile to grace your features. Of course, there was plenty of fear for the unknown, but also a sense of excitement bubbling inside you. From now on… things would be okay. You would block the number, you would spend time looking for a new place away from city life, and you would get yourself back on your feet and on your way down a path to healing.

 It was time to live for yourself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we have it, the first chapter. It's a bit late as I'm posting this, so if there happen to be any mistakes I apologize. I just wanted to write this up while the motivation allowed. Not much happens in this chapter, in all honesty - most of it is just some background to keep in mind as it progresses as well as a step forward towards the future.


End file.
